


Flames of Ice

by linkami1379



Series: The Adventures of Keith and Lance [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 07:37:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7258417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linkami1379/pseuds/linkami1379
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Finding out he was bisexual wasn’t a friendly experience. Solution? Be as girl-oriented as possible, use spare time to make clever comebacks and rely on sarcasm to save the day. At least that was what Lance figured would work at age eleven."</p><p>Boys finding their way in the big, wide universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flames of Ice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Abeautifulsirenssong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abeautifulsirenssong/gifts).



> I just wanted to write something about these babies... and then it turned into something really angsty and sad. Oops. It was also a little... OOC for Lance, because it's not too punny and happy you know? I may continue it if the plot-bunny keeps working and I have time.

“We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!” 

When Keith made the frustrated exclamation, Lance knew precisely what he was referring to. In fact, Lance remembered the exact way his arm tingled where Keith held it, and how his entire body warmed with the connection to his fellow paladin (or was that the aftereffects of a mass explosion?). Lance recalled the way his blood pounded with adrenaline and confidence and… something strange and exciting that could be described along the lines of affection. And that’s why Lance did his best to block the moment from his mind and from the minds of everyone around him.

“Nooope, don’t remember, didn’t happen. So, what happened to Sendak?” Changing the subject was the best route, regardless of the cold grimace Keith displayed. 

Even when Keith continued to glance at Lance while Hunk gave a heartwarming speech about taking a stand for other species in the universe (particularly the one that his lady rock-friend belonged to), Lance refused to reveal even a blink of remembrance. 

That moment against Sendak was both terrifying and eye opening. Rather than life being, “Lance and Keith, head to head, neck and neck,” it was, “Lance and Keith, back to back, us against the world.” It was a moment of seriousness and connection, one that Lance felt could be one of the most meaningful moments of his life to date. Granted, he would never admit he was such a sentimental person. 

As the day progressed, Lance found his mind flitting between how annoying Keith was, to the moment they shared, then way back to his childhood past, and then to his days training as a cadet… against Keith. Lather, rinse and repeat. It was exhausting, and Lance sighed heavily, his usual smirk gone. He collapsed onto his bunk and curled his long legs up around a pillow. Green breakfast goo gurgled uncomfortably in his gut and Lance released a whiny, “I miss real foooood,” to the empty room. Rolling onto his back, the cycle of thoughts continued as he reviewed the previous, much more inferior, Lance Sanchez. 

The thing about being a gangly, mousy-haired kid in a poorly-funded elementary school for six years is that bullies are frequent. Pair that up with being a total nerd for all things hero-related and mentioning one time that you thought one boy in your class was pretty, and you’ve got yourself a lifetimes’ worth of teasing, beatings and insecurities. Finding out he was bisexual wasn’t a friendly experience. Solution? Be as girl-oriented as possible, use spare time to make clever comebacks and rely on sarcasm to save the day. At least that was what Lance figured would work at age eleven. The bullying didn’t stop until he became a cadet at the Pilot Training University. Which is where Keith entered Lance’s world. Lance groaned in irritation. _Why can’t I stop thinking about this shit?!_

When in doubt, shout out all your confusion and anger and it will disappear like magic. “Keith is a no good, idiotic, hero-complex, wanna-be heartthrob, stupid paladin who would never have kicked Sendak’s ass without me! Coming out of a coma for fucks sake! And he has a mullet! Why would anyone have a mullet? I am a MUCH better pilot than him and he should stuff it, because we would never have a moment where he would ‘cradle me in his arms’ because we’re not like that- we’re, we’re not even friends, fucking Red Rover with badass gloves that he probably wears to make himself feel better because he’s so INSECURE!” Lance inhaled deeply and stared at the metal, cold ceiling. _Who am I kidding._

Lance sat up abruptly and left his room, making his way to the training deck. _Need a distraction._ The thoughts kept racing back and forth, up and down. _I still think Allura is hot and badass and I would totally kiss her right now._ Lance shoved his hands in his pockets and walked even more swiftly. _And I would not kiss Keith even if the entire Galra fleet was bearing down on us and that was the only solution._ The twists and turns of the ship did not help Lance’s swirling mind. _It’s not safe or normal or even remotely okay to like guys, remember?_ Lance opened the door to the training deck and glanced around as if suspecting someone would jump out and talk to him. Lance was in no mood to be his usual chatterbox self. 

“Start level 1 hand-to-hand combat,” Lance spoke to the room. A robot dropped to the center of the room, its arms, hands, and chest sporting light gray padding. Lance removed his hoodie and threw it to the side of the room. _I won’t let myself get any closer to Keith. We’re rivals… with a common goal. That’s it._

The robot took a defensive stance and Lance threw the first, terribly obvious punch. Blocked. _Why do I have to like it when he smiles?_ Lance ducked and rolled along the floor as the robot swung a fist forward. _I’m disgusting._ Queasiness rolled in his stomach and with a lurch he thought he was going to be sick. Lance began to punch, duck and block with wild steps. He never was good at direct combat, and was still a debatable fighter pilot. He was too tall, made irrational conclusions and missed home. _He would never ever ever see me that way, I just-_ Lance blocked one punch and missed the next aimed at his roiling gut, doubling over to the floor. “End training sequence!” Lance breathed heavily, crouching on his knees, the floor cold and hard and not Earth. _I don’t want him to feel like that about me, it’s not natural and he’s too cool to be fucked up like me, but I don’t want him to, I don’t I—_ Lance felt his eyes well up as he promptly vomited green goo across the silver training pad. Two tears slid down his cheeks and joined the putrid mess as he panted on his hands and knees, thinking that the green mess looked identical to what it had a few hours prior. “That’s disgusting,” Lance mumbled. 

Lance sat back on his heels and wiped the sweat and residual goo from his mouth onto the back of his hand. “I’m really disgusting.” Sighing, but feeling increasingly better after releasing some of the pent up confusion (food makes a big difference on emotional and mental stability!), Lance asked, “can, uh… how can I clean this up?” As the robot Lance had been fighting moments ago walked up, he heard the door to the training deck open behind him and footsteps stop as soon as they walked through. 

“Lance? You’re actually training?” 

“What—“ Lance started, but then the robots’ abdomen opened up and a tube with a flat vacuum head popped out, snaked to the floor, and began to suck up all the lime colored slime. “—the fuck, why do you have a vacuum in your stomach, you do realize this is going inside of your metal body, that’s nasty, like The Human Centipede kind of nasty, isn’t there another way to clean this up—“

“What are you talking about?!” Keith’s voice bounced off the walls as he walked swiftly to where Lance was still seated beside the dwindling puddle of grossness. “Why did you bring your food in here? And why is it so… liquidated…” Lance gave a forced laugh. 

“Yup, spilled my green goo, gonna go get a refill now, see you later Mullet,” Lance said while jumping to he feet, numb after crouching for so long. He stumbled as he snatched his hoodie and began to run from the room. He was almost to the door when a strong hand caught his arm and swung him around. A dark, calculating gaze stopped whatever profanities lay on the tip of Lance’s tongue. His eyes danced along Keith’s nose, to his neck, his collarbone peeking from under a gray T-shirt, the tuft of hair that stood straight up and then back to the stare that rooted him to the spot. Lance was terrified. _Of what?_ The fact that he couldn’t get rid of these friendly—and more than friendly—feelings towards his team mate, or that he didn’t know how to respond to such a weighted gaze aimed at him, or that Lance was wondering if Keith may actually be having similar thoughts as Lance, perhaps wishing that they could be closer, could comfort one another, might have a connection, might—

“You don’t look good, you should go back to the healing pod,” Keith mused, squinting harder at Lance’s disheveled appearance. The moment cracked.

“Yeah yeah, can’t have a loser in the training deck with you, would ruin your performance wouldn’t it?” Lance bit out, yanking his arm away and turning back to the door with a huff. “Piss off,” Lance growled when he heard footsteps following him before the door shut. Keith remained standing motionless on the training deck, watching his friend—his teammate, his person— walk out on him again. 

***

Days passed and Lance regained control over his emotions and returned to the annoying chatterbox he loved to be. Keith didn’t bring up the moment that brought this all on or the scene on the training deck. They more or less avoided each other while managing to form Voltron in training sessions and be in the same vicinity when the whole paladin spent time together. Pidge and Hunk noticed the distance between the two, while Coran simply blessed the additional silence. Shiro was more than concerned, and attempted to speak with each of them about the situation only to be shut down on both accounts. Lance missed bantering with the Red Paladin, but didn’t mention it. 

After a strained dinner, Lance took a walk outside, finding that the warm, fragrant air was much preferred to the artificial air inside the ship. Finding a fine rock to seat his bony ass down on, Lance contemplated his perspective on Keith once more. He definitely had feelings for the Mullet and they weren’t all friendly. Or spiteful. He had accepted that. But what to do with this information? When his family wasn’t bearing down on him and the bullies from school were literally light years away, he couldn’t find a reason why he was repressing his nature. Lance considered that if Keith were a girl, he would’ve used every pick up line in the book already and sought him out daily. _The team is pretty accepting…_ Lance thought to himself. _But… what if Keith isn’t like that? Or maybe they aren’t accepting at all? Pidge and Shiro obviously have some chemistry, but Pidge was originally a girl, so it’s different, right? What if, what if, what if…_

“If you’re going to mope outside all by yourself, you should’ve let me know. It’s a great pastime.”

Lance turned in surprise to find Keith leaning on another rock with a hand on his hip, looking amused. His expression hardened, though, when he saw the seriousness in Lance’s features. “What’s up with you? You’ve been all… not like Lance for the past week.” He walked forward and took a seat beside Lance on the rock, with a meter between them, but the wind still blew Keith’s scent towards Lance. The scent of spice and burnt sugar.

“Is it because of what I said? Bonding moment? But you wouldn’t still be held up about that, that was a while ago.” Keith was watching Lance closely and noticed the slight grimace and shift in body language. “So you do remember?”

“No,” Lance huffed. 

“Why is it bad if you did? We’re friends, we actually connected, we saved each other’s lives!”

“I know!” Lance said, putting his head in his hands. “I know, and… and it meant a lot to me.” Keith sat up a little and gave Lance a hard look. 

“Lance, do you have a crush on me?!” he snickered, attempting to lighten the mood. Lance felt a well of confusion, fury and, most all, hurt. Keith noticed the mistake he made attempted to back track. “I didn’t mean to—Lance, it’s okay! I don’t—“

“Do you understand what it’s like to like boys when you’re in elementary school and you actually admit it? Yeah, that’s how you end up with cracked ribs! It hurts like a bitch! Not to mention when your dad makes comments at every gay couple that walks by like, ‘that’s not natural’ and, ‘don’t follow their example son, they’re going to hell,’ so of course I’m not g-gay!” Lance gesticulates wildly at Keith’s wrinkled brow in anger and frustration with… what, himself? “I’m not gay!” Lance repeats, stronger this time. “I like girls! A lot! Boobs are great! And hips! And all the lady parts! Especially Allura, because she’s badass and gorgeous and has an accent and…” Lance trailed off at the expression on Keith’s face. His eyes were cast aside and he was biting his lip, a sad crease between his eyebrows. 

“Well, I am.” 

“What?” Lance spat. “You’re what?” 

“I’m gay,” Keith said, gaze hardening as it returned to Lance. “Am I unnatural? Do you hate me now?”

Lance was speechless. _But you’re so cool, all the girls like you, and you’re pretty manly and—_

Keith scoffed. “I’m not all that ‘cool’, and I think those are all compliments?” Lance flushed when he realized he had spoken out loud and sputtered in response. “I’m not ashamed, but it isn’t exactly something I share with everyone so… consider yourself lucky.”

“I—“ Lance didn’t know what to say. _What is this? Is it okay to feel like this? Is he pulling my leg? I don’t know what to do._ “I don’t hate you,” Lance said slowly. “But… I don’t… know how to feel.” Keith raised an eyebrow. “I mean... it’s just, I would never suspect you to bat for the other team and you’re an alright kind of guy and I was just raised to think that it was so wrong but now I don’t even know what’s right and wrong anymore and I don’t want to hate you but I feel like I should because I already hate myself a little and-“ Lance blanched. “Wait no, I don’t hate myself and I don’t hate you, but I literally have no idea what I’m- I mean- fuck, I just don’t know, I don’t know!” Lance shouted into the unfamiliar night sky. 

After a moment, stiff arms wrapped around Lance shoulders. The embrace was awkward but… warm. Spice and burnt sugar flooded the senses and Lance inhaled deeply as his heart went wild. 

“It’s okay to like both, Lance,” Keith murmured against Lance’s shoulder. Something wet dripped down onto Lance’s upper lip. “Do you like guys?” Lance couldn’t speak. It felt like a Balmeran crystal was lodged in his throat, making it hard to breathe. He nodded. “Are you worried that the team will hate you because of that?” Lance had never felt so vulnerable before in his life, not even when Victor and his gang of bullies tied him naked to the jungle gym in the park that one time. Lance shook his head slowly. “Do… do you like me, Lance?” It was too much too soon. Lance remained motionless, arms still at his sides, Keith’s warm arms secure and sound around him. “What are you afraid of, Lance?” Keith breathed. 

“Myself.”

***

After their conversation outside the ship that night (which ended after Lance sobbed into Keith’s chest for a solid 5 manly minutes), the two paladins reinstated their continuous bantering. Pidge and Hunk were overjoyed. Shiro and Allura were relieved. Coran accepted the fate of no silence for the foreseeable future. 

Lance and Keith spent time sparring together and chatting (arguing) throughout the day. Keith confessed that he found Lance’s height attractive after a complaint from the latter. That escalated to an argument on how attractive, badass and awesome the other was, and ended with, “so, you do like me?” Keith didn’t duck in time and had a hard time explaining the swollen cheek to Coran. 

Their first kiss was anything but sweet. Aggressive and intense and lots of teeth. They practiced and gradually made progress. 

When Lance came out to the rest of the team, it was in a very Lance sort of way. While rearranging the living room area after a rough landing, Allura muttered, “the couch is not quite straight…” and Lance stated, very loudly, “well, let’s get one thing straight, I’m not.” When the room went very silent, Lance blushed and filled the dead air with a flurry of words that no one was really listening to, until Hunk interrupted, “that was a secret? Haven’t you liked Keith since, ever?” The team laughed and assured an embarrassed Lance that it was fine. “So long as it didn’t affect forming Voltron!” Shiro added. 

That night, Keith held Lance’s hand under the dinner table and Lance didn’t feel like upchucking green goo. 

And when they returned to Lance’s room together, they lay side by side in mindless chatter (90% was from Lance). 

“We do make a good team, huh?” Lance said, twirling Keith’s mullet-hair through his fingers. 

“Yeah,” Keith placed a kiss on Lance’s free hand, “we’re like Flames of Ice.”

Lance snorted loudly and Keith wrinkled his nose in disgust. “That’s so lame, why is fire first? Why not Ice Flames or something!”

Keith closed his eyes and settled down as long, comforting fingers massaged his scalp. “We can work on it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so grateful for all the wonderful feedback I've received on this piece! I want to write more one-shots with these two, and naturally, all my ideas are angsty/sad/involve some sort of crisis. You all ready?
> 
> I'm 24601timelordeowyn on tumblr, stop by and say hi if you like!


End file.
